Blog Challenge, Day 16: Debate Wrap-up

I’ll be brief, which is a skill that seems to elude Barack Obama:

Obama is a liar. He makes promises that he has no intention of keeping because he believes that people are too stupid to fact check him or check his record and sadly in many cases he is right.

If not for an occasional sob story, continuous references meant to invoke envy and class warfare, and faux ‘wars’ such as the ‘war on women’ Obama would have nothing, NOTHING, to fall back on.

We as a nation should be ashamed that this man was ever elected.

Mitt Romney may not be what anyone would consider ideal, but he is far better than the socialist currently in the White House. Romney was able to pass legislation as a Republican governor in a heavily Democratic state and he did it with bipartisan support. Obama couldn’t pass a budget with a majority House and Senate. Leaders lead, they don’t sit around and assign blame when they are cornered with questions as to why things haven’t been accomplished.

Shame on Obama for his lies, and shame on us for not protecting America, and double shame on those who would aid in the further destruction of this great country.


Blog Challenge, Day 8: Sexiest aka Most Vacuous Woman Alive

I know that Hollywood and Broadway like to periodically have big parties and hand out awards in a sort of self-aggrandizing way, but I had forgotten that magazines occasionally attempt to ride the coattails of Hollywood fame by publishing lists of the “Sexiest” or “Hottest” celebrities. It’s sort of small and reminds me of high school and those who obsessed over the “Most Popular” or “Best Dressed” titles.

I don’t remember who won what recognition back in my school days. I honestly don’t care. I’m positive I won’t remember who won what title in whichever magazine even as soon as next week, but I bring it up because a news link popped up in my timeline today. “Mila Kunis named Esquire’s sexiest woman alive”. Normally I wouldn’t care that Esquire chose a terrier for this .. *ahem*… honor, except that Mila feels her esteemed ranking in the social order gives credence to her hair-brained political views.

In case you missed the riveting interview, Ms Kunis said,  “The way that Republicans attack women is so offensive to me,” Kunis exclaims. “And the way they talk about religion is offensive. I may not be a practicing Jew, but why we gotta talk about Jesus all the time? And it’s baffling to me how a poor person in Georgia can say, ‘I’m a Republican.’ Why?”

First of all, I’ve never been attacked by a Republican. I would ask Mila to prove such a claim, except that she wouldn’t deign to speak to me and if she did she’d probably regurgitate some tripe about Rush Limbaugh. I’d still have to wonder if Mila is offended by Islamists who attack women, or communists who attack women, or if she’s only concerned by this one political party in the U.S. that has this one guy who used this one word this one time to describe this one woman who was lobbying to have her birth control subsidized.

Then there’s the whole issue with her intolerance over our mentioning Jesus. Yes, Jesus. We all know how offensive He can be with His parables about good Samaritans and his sermons about loving thy neighbor. Then there was the whole issue of Jesus dying to pay the price for our sins… I had thought leftists were all about other people paying their way, but apparently that only applies to the temporal and not the eternal. Mila admits she isn’t a practicing Jew, as if it’s okay to claim a religion, but just don’t go about talking about it. As if religion were a pair of shoes that you put on just when you need it or feel like wearing it and then should be left in a closet until it’s time to trot it out again. Well excuse us, Mila, for having convictions.

Finally there is her utter befuddlement over the existence of poor Republicans. Oh, dear. Well the cat’s out of the bag now! It’s true, Ms Kunis. We don’t all own banks. If she bothered to study an issue at all, she’d know that there are plenty of poor and middle class people who desire to be left alone from government overreach. We want to be free to make our own fortunes! We’d like to be taxed less, have our attempts at self-employment regulated less, and be left with more of our paychecks that we worked for! Self-reliance, Ms Kunis. Look it up.

Of course I’m not shocked to know that a vapid Hollywood starlet who says words in front of a camera and takes her clothes off for fame and money has some poorly thought out political views. I’m even less shocked that those views lean far left. What’s truly puzzling is that of all the women in the world, Mila Kunis was chosen as the sexiest….

But then again, she is a cute little thing.

Blog Challenge, Day 3: Debate This

**Day 3’s blog will post early on the 4th.

In case you missed it, Obama got spanked quite soundly in a debate on the economy tonight. Romney, being a business man and leader, knew his stuff and gave no quarter.

Because I’m feeling quirky, and because I’m just plain tired, I decided to sum up their debate points and put it in terms that almost anyone could understand (you’re welcome, Biden!). For that I will use chickens.

On Jobs and Taxes:

America needs omelets. Obama’s plan to feed America consists of taking more eggs from the highest-grossing layers. Romney’s plan consists of increasing the number of chickens who are laying eggs. One of these plans is sustainable and will work. The other will get you pecked to death (or else your chickens will outsource. see: Chicken Run).

On Healthcare:

Every American, at some point, will need a chicken. Obama’s plan is to assemble a group of unelected farmers who get to decide what type and how many chickens you can have. You can buy chicken feed from your local store only, or else pay a feed tax. Romney’s plan is to allow your local elected farmers to decide to what extent chicken ownership should be regulated, and then ensures you can buy chicken feed from any store, or grind your own feed as needed. One of these plans gives you more options and power. The other results in chicken shortages and higher taxes.

I hope this helps break down all that fancy talk about the economy so that everyone can understand it. If not, well, you’re probably a city pigeon and there’s no hope for you.

I leave you with this.. enjoy!

Mothers For Romney

Dear Julia,

As we were having our morning coffee, dad and I got your email about birth control. Honey…. I don’t even know where to begin. Let me just say first of all $18,000?!?! REALLY?! I know we have to consider prices and inflation, but did you know you could buy Trojan condoms in bulk and get 1000 condoms for $350? You could have sex every day for nearly 3 years! Although the idea of my little girl being so wanton is quite frankly… sickening! What happened to the values you were taught growing up? Your father can’t even respond to your email, he’s too busy mumbling and cleaning his gun.

We realize you may think our values “old-fashioned” but the truth is those values protect you! When you respect yourself, you don’t give your body to the use of just any man who takes a fleeting interest. You don’t have to worry about pregnancy or disease or whether or not he’s going to call. You’ll never have to do the “walk of shame” or live with regret. Just think about it, dear.

I won’t pretend that I’ve lived with my head in the sand for the last decade. I know you’ve probably… charmed the snake. So if you are going to spit on the values you were taught and be so brazen as to ask your mother for help buying birth control, then get ready little girl because mama just took the gloves off. Here goes…

1) You remember making such a big deal out of being “an adult”? Well I do, honey. Good luck with that.

2) Your dad and I have graciously paid your tuition for 2 years. Your job at that little boutique allowed you to buy your books. If you are too busy humping like a rabbit to study those books and earn that degree we’ve been paying for then we can just stop paying your tuition.

3) Condoms are free at the health department.

4) If your “date” can’t be bothered with protection you should not be surprised when he tells his friends you were easy and doesn’t call you.

5) The pill increases your risk of cancer. Are you going to ask us to pay for your chemo too?

6) The pill helps regulate your period? Oh, well then… all the women in the history of ever wanted me to tell you that they almost shed a single tear for you. Ask for more hours at the boutique and take fewer classes next semester. You’ll be able to buy your own pills!

Dear, we aren’t heartless, but you trying to manipulate us by implying that we will have to pay you if we vote for Romney is a little bit like extortion. Besides, our own insurance rates went up after Obama pushed through Obamacare, and I lost my job because the company couldn’t afford the extra cost to insure employees. Your dad is worried he will lose his job now. We’ve canceled the cable, gym membership, and magazine subscriptions. We stopped eating out. I won’t be reflooring the den or buying a new comforter for the bedroom ($18,000 could refloor the whole house and pay for a nice dinner out!). You see, honey, when grown ups are faced with a change in fortune, they do this thing called “budgeting”. If you are suddenly faced with paying for birth control don’t cry to mommy. You put your big girl panties on and work out how you can cover the necessities. When you’re done with that, call me. I’d like to congratulate you on finally growing up.

xoxo, Mom

p.s. I almost forgot! If you are so insistent on taking care of your .. ahem… ‘sexual needs’, you should invest in a vibrator. It’s much more economical!

(This has been a fictional response to the following ridiculous campaign e-card.)