Fiscal Snark

Fiscal Cliff.

We’ve heard news about the fiscal cliff until we’re probably all tired of it and are just glad the dealing is over…


I have to wonder, however, if most folk outside of a few fellow political junkies are entirely clear about what the fiscal cliff is, what deal was struck, and what it means for us lowly peons who don’t speak lawyerese.

I will attempt to explain it as well as I can given that I’m, 1) not a math genius 2) not a lawyer & 3) sick of the very thought of it, by breaking it down into ‘regular folk’ language and simplifying it as much as I can without losing the substance of the thing. Here goes…

This all leads back to the Budget Control Act of 2011.. *snort-laugh* budget control…*ahem* that addressed the debt ceiling crisis of that year. (Is anyone else noticing a pattern in regards to our government, spending, and crises? Anyone??) The changes that were set to take place at midnight Dec 31, 2012 were:

TAXES: 1) Last year’s temporary payroll tax cuts would expire [resulting in a 2% tax increase for workers. Lovely. Slave away, peons, Master Obama needs your taxes.] 2) The “Bush tax cuts” would expire [Bush tax cuts translator: Lower federal income tax for everyone, decrease in the marriage penalty, increase in the child tax credit Yay families!, etc.] 3) We would begin seeing taxes related to Obamacare. [Remember the tax that’s not a tax until the law Pelosi&Co crammed down our collective throats would be found unConstitutional unless it’s a tax?? There was this whole hullabaloo at the Supreme Court about it. Enjoy your “free” birth control, ladies, which will result in higher taxes on everything you buy now! ], etc., etc.

SPENDING: The spending cuts agreed upon as part of the deal would go into effect, including cuts to the defense budget and Medicare. It’s so cute how politicians pretend to want to stop spending our money, isn’t it?? Bless their hearts.

I have to note at this time that raising the debt ceiling via the “Budget Control Act” was considered the only plausible fix to the problem of our government spending, spending, spending, and having no plan to pay down the debt or indeed any intention of staying within a budget (seeing as how they have HAD NO BUDGET for over 1,000 days). I have to point that out because it is an out of control SPENDING government that has caused ALL of these problems and then proposes “fixes” that in no way, shape, or form limit the amount of spending that we as tax payers are expected to pay for.

*Ahem* Mini-rant over. Where was I? Oh yes, the fiscal cliff…

fiscal cliff huxtible

No, not THAT Cliff.

So the cliff was this big scary economic reckoning that would burden an already weak economy with heaps of higher taxes. Remember just before the election when Obama said the economy was ‘doing fine’? Wasn’t that precious!?

So.. what did the sage wizards of Capitol Hill do about this impending doom?

Good question.

Two good things have come of this deal: 1) Most of the Bush tax cuts are permanent. [Taxes will go up on higher incomes, just as King Obama promised in his class warfare campaign. You know, all those “rich” people who hire less rich people to do jobs that they are paid a wage for..] & 2) Taxing and spending have been de-linked, to be dealt with as separate issues. [Good news! If you were missing fiscal cliff talks already you’ll get a bonus round! Woot! ]

Bonus Cliff:

fiscal cliff assets

Now before you run off and spend all that money you’ll save in tax cuts, let me remind you that this is Congress we’re dealing with and if you thought there would be only good to come of this deal then… you don’t know Congress.

So what’s the bad in the deal? Well… 1) Taxes are still going up & 2) “Special interest” tax benefits are extended [“Railroad track maintenance credit” because it’s 1835, y’all!, recovery period for motorsports entertainment complexes Wonder if these will be named after the venerable Ted Kennedy?, special expensing rules for film and television, and subsidies for alternative energy. I like to call this the Solyndra Cliff ].

Knowing our taxes are helping Hollywood make crap movies that they’ll charge us $10/person to see just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside doesn’t it?

Hopefully this has helped you gain a better understanding of the Fiscal Cliff and subsequent dealing. All of the research I did to get to this diluted and simplified explanation has created what I call a cuteness deficit in my thought processes. I’ll need furry animal memes to repair the damage done by this trip into Lawyerland’s Tax&Spend Extravaganza.


*sad panda*


Oh! I almost forgot…

Just so you know that Obama is serious about saving us from falling off the Fiscal Cliff, you should know that he granted a pay increase for Congress, which shocked even Congress given that they are supposed to be saving us from economic ruin. Don’t worry, the order was rescinded in time for Obama to address the Fiscal Cliff crisis and fly back to Hawaii at an additional cost of over $3 million in addition to the cost of his $4 million family vacation. He’s all about leading by example.

fiscal cliff roadrunner


Blog Challenge, Day 19: Selective Outrage

To paraphrase and summarize some of the ‘news’ from this week…

‘Binders Full Of Women’ is “ZOMG SEXISSSST!” referring to binders full of women’s resumes, but ‘Not Optimal’ is “ZOMG Cut the dude some slack, he’s TRYINNNG!” when referring to the deaths of 4 Americans in a terrorist attack.

Yeah, that makes sense. No double standard there.

Of course it’s no surprise to conservatives that the media and the Obama campaign… but I repeat myself.. that they would practice selective outrage over verbal ‘gaffes’. I’m not convinced Romney’s statement is a gaffe, as it is in no way embarrassing that he noticed that women weren’t being represented and he actively worked to fill important cabinet positions with qualified women by asking for said resumes, but to imply that Romney cares about the plight of women or that women might care more about jobs than birth control destroys the carefully crafted ‘war on women’ narrative.

Of course, Obama and friends would much rather talk about binders, birth control, and Big Bird than Benghazi. Leaving our embassies unprotected on the anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks, running off to Vegas for a celebrity fundraiser the day after the murder of Ambassador Stevens, referring to the deaths of 4 Americans as ‘bumps in the road’ and ‘not optimal’, and lying the whole time about the nature of the attacks and the administration’s handling of such weighty issues is, shall we say, Not Optimal. It’s no wonder the Obama campaign would like to divert our attention away from Benghazi, and when a debate moderator isn’t handy to hush up the issue we’re being inundated by faux war memes by the media at large.

The thing about wars, though, is that there is a body count. In the case of Benghazi, we know the body count and we know our enemy, yet nothing has been done. In the case of women, there is also a body count; women and their doctors have managed to kill 55 million unborn babies via abortion in the U.S. alone since Roe v. Wade. Obama’s solution to that? Leave the survivors to die.

All things considered, binders aren’t really on my list of important policy issues at the moment. Or, possibly, ever.

Blog Challenge, Day 16: Debate Wrap-up

I’ll be brief, which is a skill that seems to elude Barack Obama:

Obama is a liar. He makes promises that he has no intention of keeping because he believes that people are too stupid to fact check him or check his record and sadly in many cases he is right.

If not for an occasional sob story, continuous references meant to invoke envy and class warfare, and faux ‘wars’ such as the ‘war on women’ Obama would have nothing, NOTHING, to fall back on.

We as a nation should be ashamed that this man was ever elected.

Mitt Romney may not be what anyone would consider ideal, but he is far better than the socialist currently in the White House. Romney was able to pass legislation as a Republican governor in a heavily Democratic state and he did it with bipartisan support. Obama couldn’t pass a budget with a majority House and Senate. Leaders lead, they don’t sit around and assign blame when they are cornered with questions as to why things haven’t been accomplished.

Shame on Obama for his lies, and shame on us for not protecting America, and double shame on those who would aid in the further destruction of this great country.

Blog Challenge, Day 3: Debate This

**Day 3’s blog will post early on the 4th.

In case you missed it, Obama got spanked quite soundly in a debate on the economy tonight. Romney, being a business man and leader, knew his stuff and gave no quarter.

Because I’m feeling quirky, and because I’m just plain tired, I decided to sum up their debate points and put it in terms that almost anyone could understand (you’re welcome, Biden!). For that I will use chickens.

On Jobs and Taxes:

America needs omelets. Obama’s plan to feed America consists of taking more eggs from the highest-grossing layers. Romney’s plan consists of increasing the number of chickens who are laying eggs. One of these plans is sustainable and will work. The other will get you pecked to death (or else your chickens will outsource. see: Chicken Run).

On Healthcare:

Every American, at some point, will need a chicken. Obama’s plan is to assemble a group of unelected farmers who get to decide what type and how many chickens you can have. You can buy chicken feed from your local store only, or else pay a feed tax. Romney’s plan is to allow your local elected farmers to decide to what extent chicken ownership should be regulated, and then ensures you can buy chicken feed from any store, or grind your own feed as needed. One of these plans gives you more options and power. The other results in chicken shortages and higher taxes.

I hope this helps break down all that fancy talk about the economy so that everyone can understand it. If not, well, you’re probably a city pigeon and there’s no hope for you.

I leave you with this.. enjoy!

Blog Challenge, Day 2: Lady Parts

Just when I feared I would have nothing to write about today, the Obama campaign blessed me with this extraordinary gift:

The shameless and blatant pandering of the Obama campaign is the gift that keeps on giving. They have finally boiled down their cries of “war on women” to this single idea:

Women are vaginas.

That’s it! Our only concern this election season should be whether or not birth control is subsidized.

Never mind that we don’t all want or need birth control.

We have been reduced to our “lady parts”!

It’s so laughable!!!

You can’t even pretend this is a fiscal issue! In my last post (comments) I did the math on the percentage of women who use the pill. In the post before that I addressed the last ridiculous campaign meme aimed at women coming from the Obama camp. They aren’t even close to addressing the concerns of most women! I’m expected to care that Obama wants to subsidize a product I don’t even use? I’m supposed to be grateful that he’s raising taxes on my family to subsidize a product that I don’t even use!? Really, Obama?!?

Here’s some “lady parts” that I’m concerned about:

  1. My pretty lady wallet, which is a lot lighter these days. We need jobs!
  2. My lady mom van, which costs $50+ to fill up.
  3. My freedom to carry a subcompact lady gun to protect myself with.
  4. The loss of freedom my little ladies will suffer due to government overreach.
  5. The little ladies who are culled from society because of gender-selective abortion.
  6. Josephine Terry’s lady heart, and all the hearts broken because of the loss of life and property due to our unsecured borders and your gun-running.

Since you’re so concerned about lady parts how about you focus on those and leave me to handle my bedroom business in private, as it should be?

h/t to Twitchy

Blog Challenge, Day 1: About the birth control…

I have decided in what is literally the eleventh hour to challenge myself to post to my blog every day. Either this will result in me becoming more comfortable with publishing and make me a better writer or it will bore you to tears. I apologize in advance.

To kick off this new challenge I’ve decided to share a couple of thoughts I have about this whole war-on-women-birth-control-healthcare issue.

As I see it, there are 2 major flaws with the premise that not providing birth control coverage or subsidies is somehow a war on women. First of all, you’re working with the assumption that all women of child-bearing age want or need birth control. Of the total number of women of child-bearing age, only a little over half of them would want birth control. Of that number, less than half of them would need it. I don’t have links or statistics, if you demand them I will look them up. I’m just pointing out that the number of women who would want birth control compared to the number of women for whom the left feigns to speak is divergent.

The second major flaw as I see it is the assumption that all women who want or need birth control are insistent on having the government either subsidize it or force employers to cover it in their health plan. I’m almost positive if you looked beyond the end of your nose you’d encounter women who are free-market capitalists who also purchase birth control. They’re not so keen on paying more taxes because politicians wanted to paint an entire sex with one broad victim brush stroke. No pun intended.

So while Obama and his band of victims’ advocates try to pander to a large group by declaring the right has waged a war on women, I do wonder if they’ve stopped long enough to even consider that the group they’re advocating for is considerably smaller than they had assumed. Note to leftists: you aren’t fighting for women. You’re fighting for socialist-minded perpetual victims who just happen to have a uterus. Real women aren’t buying it.

Mothers For Romney

Dear Julia,

As we were having our morning coffee, dad and I got your email about birth control. Honey…. I don’t even know where to begin. Let me just say first of all $18,000?!?! REALLY?! I know we have to consider prices and inflation, but did you know you could buy Trojan condoms in bulk and get 1000 condoms for $350? You could have sex every day for nearly 3 years! Although the idea of my little girl being so wanton is quite frankly… sickening! What happened to the values you were taught growing up? Your father can’t even respond to your email, he’s too busy mumbling and cleaning his gun.

We realize you may think our values “old-fashioned” but the truth is those values protect you! When you respect yourself, you don’t give your body to the use of just any man who takes a fleeting interest. You don’t have to worry about pregnancy or disease or whether or not he’s going to call. You’ll never have to do the “walk of shame” or live with regret. Just think about it, dear.

I won’t pretend that I’ve lived with my head in the sand for the last decade. I know you’ve probably… charmed the snake. So if you are going to spit on the values you were taught and be so brazen as to ask your mother for help buying birth control, then get ready little girl because mama just took the gloves off. Here goes…

1) You remember making such a big deal out of being “an adult”? Well I do, honey. Good luck with that.

2) Your dad and I have graciously paid your tuition for 2 years. Your job at that little boutique allowed you to buy your books. If you are too busy humping like a rabbit to study those books and earn that degree we’ve been paying for then we can just stop paying your tuition.

3) Condoms are free at the health department.

4) If your “date” can’t be bothered with protection you should not be surprised when he tells his friends you were easy and doesn’t call you.

5) The pill increases your risk of cancer. Are you going to ask us to pay for your chemo too?

6) The pill helps regulate your period? Oh, well then… all the women in the history of ever wanted me to tell you that they almost shed a single tear for you. Ask for more hours at the boutique and take fewer classes next semester. You’ll be able to buy your own pills!

Dear, we aren’t heartless, but you trying to manipulate us by implying that we will have to pay you if we vote for Romney is a little bit like extortion. Besides, our own insurance rates went up after Obama pushed through Obamacare, and I lost my job because the company couldn’t afford the extra cost to insure employees. Your dad is worried he will lose his job now. We’ve canceled the cable, gym membership, and magazine subscriptions. We stopped eating out. I won’t be reflooring the den or buying a new comforter for the bedroom ($18,000 could refloor the whole house and pay for a nice dinner out!). You see, honey, when grown ups are faced with a change in fortune, they do this thing called “budgeting”. If you are suddenly faced with paying for birth control don’t cry to mommy. You put your big girl panties on and work out how you can cover the necessities. When you’re done with that, call me. I’d like to congratulate you on finally growing up.

xoxo, Mom

p.s. I almost forgot! If you are so insistent on taking care of your .. ahem… ‘sexual needs’, you should invest in a vibrator. It’s much more economical!

(This has been a fictional response to the following ridiculous campaign e-card.)