Bonus Post! Limerick Edition

After some twitter shenanigans I’m pleased to bring you this:

A limerick about me


There once was a writer for Misfits

Who’d investigate political on dits

She came from the South

And had a smart mouth

Which made liberals throw hissy fits!



Lovely Little Lass

(A poem written many years ago that was inspired by my daughter’s vivacious character and the writings of my favorite author, Tolkien)

There was a little lass

With merry eyes a-twinklin’

And a smile all full o’mischief

With her hair in silken ringlets.

She was so very lively

That she was a joy and wonder,

But if her humor lost she

Then her voice would roll like thunder!;

And if her patience kept she

Then she was a merry maiden

(For her feet were full o’dancin’

And her laugh with music laden).

The color of her lovely eyes

Was warm as rich brown earth,

And when she danced amid the glade

She filled the trees with mirth!;

For her laughter then would fast arise

And set the leaves a’quakin’

And before her dance was ended

Then the whole wood would be shakin’!;

For the music of her joyous mirth

Could prompt the trees to dance

As flowers in the wind they’d sway

While in the glade she’d prance;

But if the lass should stumble

By the trick of envious hole

Then her music and her dancin’

From the glade would then be gone.

If,  in satisfaction, then, that

Envious hole spilled laughter

Then up would rise her ire

As the lass’s mood grew darker;

And anger rising in her then

Would cause the trees to shake

(For the thunder of the lass’s voice

Could cause the ground to quake)

And then in answer to her mood

The clouds would gather darkly

And the lass with searching eyes

Would seek the hole and mark it;

Then up would rise her piercing wail

And set the stones to rollin’

And they in answer to her will

Would quickly fill the hole in!

At this the lass, now satisfied,

Would once again start prancin’

(And with a sigh the clouds would break

While trees resumed their dancin’).

Life in the Spin Cycle

So I started this blog, and I have no idea what my first post should be. Considering I’m pondering this while I do my best impersonation of “housekeeping” I’ve decided to go with an old poem I wrote, only posting it in a new format like a beautifully re-gifted present from last year’s Christmas party. It’s a combination of housewifery and Bible-thumping, and can best be classified as delightful nonsense. Enjoy!

I prepare the loads before me

in the presence of my washer;

I annoint the water with Downy;

the hamper runs over.

Surely Gain and Clorox

shall follow me

all the days of my life;

and I will shop

in the aisles of Walmart